Thursday, February 28, 2013

Sooo...

Well, this year hasn't gone as planned, with my overly optimistic post on January 1.

Unfortunately, I am still recovering from the pregnancy and childbirth.  It's been 10 months, but I still have a lot of pelvic, hip and lower back pain.  I saw a chiropractor for about 8 visits but it didn't fix much.  My primary care physician referred me to a new gynecologist and a new orthopedist, and both of those doctors ran tests and it's all muscle-related issues in those area.  I've been going to physical therapy, but I'm still "broken".  I start with a new physical therapist next week and follow up with my orthopedist a few days later.

So I haven't been able to go for walks or go to the gym.  It's frustrating beyond words.  I desperately - desperately - want to lose weight, but I'm not able to exercise.  I'm not eating well, which is totally my fault - I do have concerns about cutting my calories too much and ruining my breastfeeding.  But that's no reason to not eat healthfully.

My weight is depressing, quite frankly.  My son is less than two months away from his first birthday, and I hate how I look right now.  I don't want to look back on his first birthday photos and hate myself in them.  I need to start putting some effort into myself.  It's such a struggle, but I have to do it - not just for me, but for my son as well.